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Consider figure the discussion on Erikson’s theory. Erikson’sidea is that we move through several stages throughout life, eachcharacterized by a unique social issue. If we negotiate aparticular stage in a healthy way, we will enter the next stagebetter prepared to do well during that stage. If not, we will enterthe next stage with a real disadvantage.
I want to tell you of an episode in my father's life -- this oneabout the end of it. When my father was dying, he lay in his bedwith all of us surrounding him, giving us charges, comforting usand assuring us of who we were. He told my son David, “David,there are many things in this world that have to change. Sometimesit takes just one person to stand and speak with conviction tochange the course of events. There will come a time when you haveto stand.†My dad just laid it on my son as a charge and gazedhard at him for a few moments. He did it for all of us, differentthings for each. We stayed with him for days, telling stories andremembering many good things until he was too weak to speak andjust smiled and looked steadily at us and squeezed our hands, andfinally died.
My father died with what Erickson called integrity. It’s whenyou gaze backward and say “That was good. I’m glad I was partof that. Life is rich and hard but it was good to have lived and tohave loved those people and done those things.†I have knownothers, and I’m sure you have too, who have died in despair,cursing the world, saying it was all a cruel joke and they wishedthey’d never lived.
What do you suppose are some of the factors Erikson suggestswould lead to someone reaching that state of integrity before theydie? As you discuss this, concentrate especially on the precedingtwo stages of life. That is, what could happen during thosepreceding two stages that might lead toward integrity in that finalstage?
